


The Cop And The Criminal

by SilverFliesInBlueSugar



Category: Sam & Max
Genre: (implied) - Freeform, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Betrayal, Blood and Violence, Coffee Shops, Crimes & Criminals, Domestic Fluff, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, Flirting, Fluff and Angst, Forgiveness, Gun Violence, Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Torture, Injury Recovery, Internal Conflict, Internalized Homophobia, LGBTQ Character, Lies, M/M, Major Character Injury, Max is an absolute nutter, Memes, Mental Instability, Mutual Pining, Non-Canonical Violence, Psychic Abilities, Psychic Bond, Sam isn't much better when you get down to it tbh, Slow Burn, Soul Bond, and moreso 'we take 50 chapters to sort our interpersonal stuff out', so keep that in mind, the slow burn tag is less 'we take 50 chapters to kiss'
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-06
Updated: 2019-08-23
Packaged: 2020-06-22 10:30:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19665622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverFliesInBlueSugar/pseuds/SilverFliesInBlueSugar
Summary: Max, a wanted criminal hiding under a thousand fake identities, watching the world burn just for the fun of it.Sam, a burned-out freelance policeman just trying to get through the weeks without getting too sick of everything, craving change.What happens when chaos meets order, and awakens it's own discordance?





	1. Chapter 1

There was a hyperactive man of likely 21-28 years of age, at large, hunted by a lot of the police force. He was known for the chaos he sent just by being there. A true chaotic neutral figure, he had somehow been involved in politics, crime and the government without a single person catching him or even finding his real name, or real appearance. He seemed to just be fucking around, having fun.

Sam... Admired that mindset, in a twisted sort of way.

31 himself and operating as a freelance police officer, Samuel was... Content? In his shambles of an apartment, with the noisy neighbours and low pay. Whatever. At least he had enough money to live off of quite comfortably. And with his job he could go running around unchecked and unrestrained with a gun, which was a bonus and always served to kick the excitement of a day up a notch.

But right now, at 8am, he couldn't appreciate any of that. Having not slept even slightly, plagued by nightmares the previous night and paranoid of them now, he was more than a little grumpy, especially after forgetting to buy food the day before and thus being unable to have any kind of breakfast.

The coffee shop he arrived at in his beat-up DeSoTo was quaint-looking and one he certainly didn't frequent, but it was close and cheap and tasted better than anything he could try and whip up at home. Stepping in and adjusting his hat, he was immediately hit with confusion and surprise. Specifically, at the employee at the desk, manning the till.

Whenever Sam came in, to this place or any other of it's ilk, he never much paid attention to the workers. So long as they did their jobs it wasn't his business to scrutinise their appearance.

But this man...

Looking to be in his early to mid 20's, the man had some of the palest skin he had ever seen, not quite sickly in it's pallor but certainly bordering that concept. He was also rather skinny, bones sticking out through his skin. He had a shock of untamed snow-white hair that just sort of fell around his face, and on that subject-

His face. 

His eyes were pure black, the iris's colourless, and it almost looked like no light was reflecting off of them, even under the intense LED's of the shop. And when he opened his mouth to passively grin, Sam was gobsmacked to see rows of sharp teeth like one might see on a shark or otherwise predator. It seemed out of place on such an attractive (albeit unusual looking) young man.

His eyes fell on the name badge. It read 'Hello, my name is Maxwell!' in such indecipherable chicken scrawl that he swore it gave him a headache. He didn't know handwriting could _be_ so bad.

Then Maxwell turned to look at him, before giving him a full frontal grin. "Enjoying the view? Heh, i mean, welcome, you want a coffee?"

Sam flushed in embarrassment at being caught staring, tugging at his collar as he walked over to the till. "Ah, yes please. I apologise for staring. Your hair is just... Very unusual"

Max smirked, running a hand through his silvery locks. "Ha! Yeahhh i get that a lot. It's _au naturel_ though, not dyed!"

Sam blinked in astonishment. Max chuckled before leaning on his band, resting his head in his palm. "Sooo... Coffee?"

"Indeed!" the freelance policeman tugged at his tie self-consciously. "Could i have..." as Sam listed off the most caffeinated idea he could think of, he found himself staring at the man more. Even his eyelashes were as white as snow, which stood out in their unnatural nature.

Max, while brewing, noticed the continued staring and smirked a little. Huh. Well, the policeman _was_ kinda cute. But as a wanted felon hiding in plain sight, dating someone in cahoots with the law was a one way trip to jail for him. And he didn't want to be locked away quite yet. He quite liked his anonyminity and invincibility, thank you very much!

He could see the badge and knew the man by reputation. He'd solved pretty much any case he'd come into contact with. Too dangerous.

"What a shame" he murmered, actually a little disappointed. Pushing down the sour feeling, he gave the policeman the cup and watched him walk to a table near the window, looking dead on his feet. Huh. Max guessed he hadn't slept last night.

He hesitated before smirking and beginning to prepare another mug.

As Sam drank, he found he couldn't get his mind off of the other man. He could feel his prescence behind him, bustling about with other orders, and couldn't stop thinking about how... Odd he was. Not in a bad way, necessarily. Just... Strange.

Then the seat across from him at his small table pulled back, and he found himself back face-to-face with those familiar black eyes. Now that he really looked though, there were flecks of silver and... Red?

Max grinned at him, pushing his cup against Sam's before he could react. He blinked dumbly as the shorter man chimed 'Cheers!' before taking a sip of his drink. Sam stared in bewilderment before the smell hit him. Was that hot chocolate?

"I'm taking a small break" the albino explained, swishing the liquid in the cup around. He glanced up at him through silver eyelashes. "If you don't mind, of course!" he laughed.

The freelance policeman was slightly dumbfounded but nodded without thinking, stammering out an uncertain "I... Don't mind?" it came out more a question than a concrete answer, but Max seemed to accept it, leaning back to to take another sip of... Whipped cream? Ok, that was definitely hot chocolate.

Sam allowed himself to relax, silently enjoying having company for once, quite liking the taste of his coffee. It was honestly one of the best he had ever had, if unusual in it's taste. Max was a real talent.

Finally he stood up, adjusting his tie. He inclined his head at Max and started to leave, before freezing as thin fingers grabbed at his wrist.

He turned to see Max grabbing onto him with a startled expression before it morphed into a smile. "You coming back again anytime soon, Sam?"

Sam wondered how he knew his name, before pushing it off on his (mixed) reputation and smiling. "Probably! Thank you for your company, by the way!"

Max nodded, grinning so wide Sam swore he could see every sharpened tooth in his mouth. Unsettled ever so slightly, he left.

Left sitting there, Max sniggered. 

"Yeah. He's cute."


	2. Chapter 2

His dealer chuckled, raising his hand to wave a lazy goodbye, and looked confused when Max flinched quite violently at the sudden movement. The albino quickly collected himself and turned away, now £80 shorter in cash than before and with a plastic baggie of heroin in his pocket, feeling a little bitter.

"Bye then, you freak" his dealer snorted when he wasn't graced with any sort of farewell, sliding into the shadows to await another 'patron'. Max ignored this comment, even as his hands itched to dig into his flesh and tear it out in gorey chunks.

He snorted as he emerged from the alleyway, black hoodie pulled up over his hair to stop himself from standing out. The faint glow of a streetlight made him look up at the stars and moon. A full moon, in fact.

He grinned.

"Time to cause some havoc"

\---

It was just hitting 1am when an explosion rung across the city. Sam was up and dressed as quickly as he could possibly be, his phone ringing off the handle, the commissioner explaining the situation succinctly as the dark skinned officer rushed to his car.

As he drove, he could hear sirens, and kind of envied them. The DeSoTo was loud, sure, but in a 'shitty-car' way, not a 'back-up-bitches-it's-the-cops' way.

He stepped out of the car 10 minutes later to see a hooded figure standing with a molotov in one hand, a hotel in front of him crumbling to rubble. Sam couldn't see any bodies or blood, thankfully, but there was a LOT of property damage.

"Freelance police, you're under arrest!" he shouted, brown eyes determined, and the man simply cackled without turning to face him, throwing the molotov. It ignited apon impact with the ground, spreading across the earth rapidly and framing him with red and gold. Sam found it oddly beautiful.

He shook himself out of it, drawing his gun. "Hey. Put your hands in the air!"

The man turned to him, face still obscured, but Sam could easily make out a grin. The man reached into his pocket, clearly about to draw a gun of his own, and Sam fired.

And he _dodged._

This seemingly insane man had DODGED his bullet without a sweat.

His eyes narrowed, and he shot again. And again, the man simply tilted his head, unharmed.

"Having fun?" he asked manically, and Sam swore his voice was familiar. Pushing the feeling away, he leveled the gun and frowned.

"Look, as morbidly and horrifyingly beautiful as this all is, I'm gonna need you to turn yourself in now so i can go home and get a good night's sleep. God knows i don't get enough of those"

In the fire crackling and the approaching sirens it was hard to make out what the criminal was saying, but Sam strained and just about made out his response.

"Nah. This is too much fun. I haven't destroyed something in a while!" the man jumped up and down like an excitable child. Sam was dumbfounded. "Besides! I'm bored, you're tired... Let me go with a warning, eh?" he winks, and suddenly it's easy to make out his burning red eyes. He still couldn't make out most of his face through the intense shadowing cast by the fire, however.

He rolled his eyes at the criminal's cheek and attempted another shot, mostly just for the hell of it. The man easily dodged before pulling what looked like a frag grenade, pulling the pin and throwing it at the cop.

He jumped out of the way, sprinting, and was soon sent off of his feet by the explosion, eating dirt as he hit the floor. Grimacing as he stood up, he tightened his grip on his gun. "Dirt is decidedly NOT tasty" he hummed, wiping it off of his face.

The other man shrugged. "Stop firin' at me then, bub!"

"Stop blowing up things!" he threw his arms up in the air exasperatedly. The man cackled.

"Who even are you, anyway? You make such scenes of yourself but you never give us a name to call you by" Sam prodded. The man seemed taken aback before thinking.

"Huh. How about lagomorph?" he shrugged. Sam blinked. "...Lagomorph? The hell, _why?_ "

He shrugged.

Sam rolled his eyes. "Alright 'Lagomorph', the rest of the police are here, so unless you can magically make your way out of here..." he heard the thundering footsteps of the police behind him, guns being cocked, sirens blaring so loud his ears rung. Red and blue lights danced across the floor.

"I can!" Lagomorph cackled, and Sam flinched, staring in bewilderment as his eyes began to glow an intense white as well as his teeth. He pulled out a... Retro telephone receiver? And listed off a range of numbers.

And then he was just gone. Vanished.

Sam heard the confused shouting of the men behind him, but couldn't move. He was frozen in shock.

A rough hand grabbed at his shoulder, and he flinched violently at the sight of Flint Paper. "Did you get a good look at his face? It looked like you two were talking!" he shouted over the crackling of the fire and the buzzing in Sam's head. Distantly, Sam heard a fire engine approaching.

The cop sighed. "Only that he has red eyes and, from what i can see, sharp teeth. I don't know." he turned to frown at Flint. "Was it unknown that he can use magic or am i the only one who wasn't told?"

Flint hummed, looking at where Lagomorph had just been. "We had our suspicions that something else was going on; it's impossible for someone to evade us for THIS long with how erratic he clearly is unless he had SOME kinda trick up his sleeve, but..." he shook his head. "For him to just... Show it? Now? In front of you? I think you made an impression on him"

Sam blinked, bewildered. "What? He barely even spoke to me, told me utter crap like that his name was 'Lagomorph'!"

Flint froze, staring at him. "You got a name?"

Sam shrugged. "It's obviously fake"

"Well yes, of course, but we've been trying to scrape out any sign of his identity for the better half of this year! This could be a clue of some sort!"

The other man just shrugged noncommitally, his lack of sleep catching up to him. He watched detachedly as men swarmed the scene, putting out the fire and discussing the events of what had just transpired.

"I'm going to bed" Sam groaned, walking back to his car. But before he could drive off, he faintly heard Flint idly comment.

"For him to react so strongly to you; he must _really_ like you"


	3. Chapter 3

Max seemed wryly amused when Sam staggered in the shop just as haggard and worn in appearance as before.

"Still no sleep?" he asked, sly, going to prepare the coffee he knew the man would ask for. "Unfortunate~"

Sam seemed confused at his jesting tone but nodded anyway, unaware of the man's own primary involvement in his lack of sleep. He leant against the counter and watched the albino work. "Yep. Work never ends. Ever."

"What were you doing?" Max hummed, giving him a glance from the corner of his eye. Sam shrugged.

"I probably shouldn't tell you, but who actually gives a damn about the rules? Rules are only to be followed when convenient after all" he rolled his shoulders, quite enjoying his rebellious comment. Max gave him a small pacifying smile as he continued. "Anyway, i had to confront some nutjob arsonist. He's been causing trouble for months and none of us have caught him"

Max snickered, causing the cop to give him an odd look, but he simply waved him off, trying to hold in the rising smirk. "Sounds like hell, buddy!" he chirped, handing the man his coffee. Sam fished out money in response, but Max shook his head, pushing the notes back into his hand. "Nuh-uh, this one's on me!"

Sam stared at him before giving a genuine smile and starting to drink. Max smiled back as he watched the man sit and browse his phone. He paused, a sudden idea hitting him, finally opting to call the man over, to which he did.

"One sec, i forgot to write your name on the cup!" he grinned, snatching the cup and scribbling 'SAM' on it with a red sharpie before the other could protest. Then, with momentary hesitation, wrote a sequence of numbers beneath it.

Sam took the cup back and did a double take. "Is... this your phone number?"

"Enjoy your drink!" Max merrily ignored the question as he shooed the older man away, basking in his own minor spur of chaotic decision making.

\---

 **Sam:** Is this Max?

 **Max:** no its ur mum. r u eating properly, son?

 **Sam:** So hilarious, please allow me ample time to fall to the ground to let out my amusement.

 **Sam:** Also no I'm not i hardly have time to cook anything substantial anymore

 **Max:** lol k dont crack a rib

 **Max:** eat bitch

 **Sam:** Anyway, why did you give me your number?

 **Max:** i mean...

 **Max:** ur hot

 **Sam:** i

 **Sam:** My mainline phone is ringing gtg!

Sam nearly dropped his phone at the candid flirtatious text, cheeks positively florid. He could easily imagine the albino right now cackling away.

Shaking his head in amused embarrassment, he placed his phone down after faking an alibi. Max really was an interesting man.

And Sam... Wouldn't really mind getting to know him a bit better.

His phone buzzed.

 **Max:** bish ur not escaping that easy

 **Max:** send nudes

 **Sam:** I'd rather not?

 **Max:** :(

 **Sam:** Trust me, you do NOT want to see me naked. I am not exactly a poster boy

 **Max:** yeh but u can chain me up with ur handcuffs 

**Max:** so bring on the unconventionally attractive bod :D

 **Max:** also bet u have abs 💦

 **Sam:** I will not recreationally use my handcuffs for kinky sex, no.

He chuckled under his breath as he typed, before flinching at hands on his shoulder. He turned to see the familiar lime-green eyes of Sybil Pandemik. She was practically buzzing with energy, a teasing grin plastered all over her face.

"Found someone, Sam? It's taken you a while!" she giggled, trying to snatch his phone to read his texts. Their height difference made this rather difficult however, Sam being 6"1 and Sybil only being 5"6. He swatted her away, cheeks red. "Jumping jacks on top of thirteen squirrels in a crackhouse! Sybil! What are you doing here?"

"What? Am i not allowed to go on a nice walk?" she pouted, putting her hands on her hips. He raised a brow. "Well of course you are. But isn't this your usual hours for work?"

"Abe's been a big sweetheart and closed it up for me so i could just go out and have a nice time today. It's our 1 year anniversary after all, and we're going to a restaurant later! But enough about me, what's this i can see about 'Max' asking for inappropriate pics of you?" she giggled. Sam frowned, crossing his arms, putting his phone back in his pocket. "It's rude to just take a look at someone else's texts, you know"

"Oh hush, and spill!" she beamed, waggling her brows. He tucked his hands into his pockets, wishing he could hide his red face better beneath his hat. At least his skin tone meant it wasn't too obvious... Hopefully.

She suddenly paused, tapping her chin, an intrigued look on her face. "Though honestly? I didn't take you as gay. I know you don't really date much but you seemed a lot more into women than men"

"I'm bisexual, not gay" Sam stumbled over replying, a small frown finding his way onto his face. "And i don't exactly get many options for dates, let alone with men" 

Sybil looked a little pitying at that, and an uncomfortable itch crawled up his spine. He swallowed, changing the subject.

"Anyway, i think i just need to get home and have a lie down. Been tired out from work; I've had so much more work recently, it's ridiculous!" he scowled, scuffing his shoe on the floor. Sybil gave him a sympathetic pat. "Well. I'm no therapist or counselor (anymore) but feel free to vent to me, if you ever feel the need to. I'll never mind"

"Thanks, Sybil. I hope you enjoy your small anniversary... Thing"

\---

Max slumped against the wall, glancing at the clock. The day had just... Fell away. He had sporadically texted Sam for a while before deciding to shut off his phone and relax a little. With about 100 pounds of drugs and alcohol in his system that was a little difficult, but considering just how high functioning he was it didn't really matter much. He was practically immune to it all by now, it just gave him a slight pleasant rejuvenating buzz.

But, despite how lovely they felt, he sort of missed not being addicted.

Anyway.

A part of him screamed to be let out, for him to wreak havoc and have fun and let go, but the other part, the part that had texted Sam flirty messages, hesitated.

It hesitated, and pointed out that if he did this again tonight, Sam would be kept up, awake and miserable, for another night. And as much as he delighted in seeing the man in the coffee shop, he equally recoiled at the thought of stressing him out more, even in this sort of indirect way.

He grumbled, teeth scraping together in indecision before he simply stomped into his room and locked the door.

Fine. He would stay put in his room. Just tonight.

Noticing his hand twitching unnaturally, he slammed it into the wall as hard as he could, exhaling sharply at the pain but relishing how the bones broke and how his entire left arm went a little slack.

"Gross" he sniggered, waving the floppy hand around before glancing around his room.

"...Do i have something to wrap this with?"


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for use of homophobic language!

Sam scowled at his breakfast cereal, or what remained of it. It seemed to be taunting him. He had completely forgotten about it and it had all sort of congealed together into an inedible amalgous soggy mess that he eventually resigned himself to tipping down the sink.

"A truly fortuitous opening to the day" he grumbled. "I'm sure this is a sign. Or something like that."

Regardless, he couldn't stay grumpy for long. He had managed to, for once, sleep well after all.

He decided to laze around his apartment for a bit before growing uncomfortable, and eventually decided to satisfy his wanderlust with a quick walk.

He stumbled into Jurgen.

The man stared at him for a moment before scowling and crossing his arms. "Oh. It iz you. I had thought i recognized you"

"Jurgen? You're out of prison already?" Sam balked. "You were given a life sentence!"

"It iz no matter as to how i am here" Jurgen flipped his hair, looking about 6 steps away from pouncing on the cop, who was now very uncomfortable. "But i warn zee to stay out ov my way. I am getting my beloved a gift"

Sam's eyebrows travelled further upward. "Your beloved? Who is the lucky... Unlucky... Who is the lady?"

"Pfft? A lady? Ha ha ha, you are too funny. It iz a man, of course. I really am not having enough time to dicuss it wiv you" Jurgen scoffed, walking past him, giving him a slight shoulder check.

The policeman had completely frozen.

"Well" finally stumbled from his tongue. "I suppose i should have guessed he was... Gay"

\---

"You're a poofter?"

"Am not!"

A younger Sam glared at the other boy, who was giggling in sadistic glee. "You so are! You just said that guy was hot!"

"I... O-objectively!" Sam sputtered, humiliated. "Look, you know i like girls, I'm not-"

"What's going on?"

Another boy walked up, looking confused. He was wearing a baggy white hoodie, that seemed incredibly fluffy to the touch, with fluffy bunny ears atop it. His eyes were cold and black.

"This guy likes kissing dudes!" the rude boy laughed, indicating at the extremely embarrassed boy now attempting to hide in his scarf. The strange hooded boy frowned. "So? I like guys too"

The boy's jaw dropped. "What the hell? You're a fag too?"

The boy's gaze sharpened at that. "What? Repeat that."

"You're both fags!" the boy shouted. "I'm gonna tell- AAAAAAGH!"

The hooded boy had leapt over, quick as lightning, latching his teeth onto the homophobic boy's arm. The rude boy screamed in horror, unlatching himself before sprinting away, yelling the entire way.

The boy stood there, staring after him as if contemplating giving chase, before simply shrugging and tucking his hands in his pockets. He turned to smirk at Sam. "Don't let assholes like that intimidate you; especially not over that stuff!"

"Oh. Uh. Well, thanks. For making him leave?" Sam managed, blinking rapidly. The kid smiled widely "You're welcome!"

And then he was gone.

\---

He shook himself from the flashback, frowning.

Despite having mostly come to terms with being bisexual, there was still some internalized homophobia from years of negative influence in his upbringing. It was still a bit of a shock to the system when anyone brought anything even remotely LGBT related up, especially when reffering to themselves or him.

He wondered if Max had experienced much of the same, or if he would even care if he did. He seemed like he would care vastly less about such things compared to Sam, who always found himself caring just a bit too much.

He grimaced as he remembered all of the times he had had to lie to get himself out of trouble, pretending boyfriends were just friends and that he was soley crazy about girls. He _was_ crazy about girls, but not _just_ girls. And that had always been the problem.

Being bisexual, black, poor and nerdy in a rough area didn't exactly help his upbringing become more stable. Neither did his eventual career choice. A kid in a crime soaked neighbourhood saying he wanted to work as a policeman? It didn't go down well.

Huffing and adjusting his hat (it was slipping slightly) Sam suddenly froze at the sight of Max across the street from him, looking a little like he was dissociating, scratching his arm with fervor. His right hand was wrapped tightly with bandages.

"Are... Are you alright?" he managed, running over just slowly enough to appear casual. Max froze before looking up at him, and the grin that came over the younger man's face was wholly forced. 

"Yep! Fine! Never been better!"

Sam really looked at him for a moment, scrutinizing his behaviour, his mannerisms, how he seemed to be vibrating with energy...

"...Are you experiencing drug withdrawal?" he couldn't help but ask.

Max stared at him then, and the policeman swore his eyes flashed red, but blamed it on the light. When he next replied, Max's voice was terse. "What's it to you? Gonna arrest me?"

Sam frowned, throwing his hands up defensively. "Hey, i never said anything like that. I just wanted to know if i could help. From what I've heard it can be pretty sucky"

Max gave him a once over before a puzzled look crossed his face. "You aren't going to arrest me? Besides, i don't need help, I've only been off it for about 9 or 10 hours. I counted."

Sam shrugged. "Do you want to sit down and talk about it?"

This time the once-over was searching.

"Okay"


	5. Chapter 5

"Do you really have no one to talk to about anything? No one you live with, no friends, family...?" Sam trailed off, frowning.

"Nope!" Max swung his legs, and despite his loud and cheery voice, his eyes were slightly glazed over. "All of my family is in jail, i live alone, and i have no friends! Zero! Zip! Nada!" he shrugged.

Sam's frown deepened substantially. "That's... Unfortunate-"

"Nope! Because i don't need anybody checking up on me!" the albino almost seemed to snap, eyes flashing slightly, voice sharp even as his grin remained. "I'm fine and i don't need any help! You see?"

"...no?" Sam responded in a smaller voice, shifting away slightly at the more aggressive way the man was now speaking. Seeming to recognise this, Max calmed down slightly. "I just... I don't like people probing where they shouldn't."

"I thought you wanted me to to touch you, though?" Sam spoke before thinking, and his hand came up to cover his mouth, eyes as wide as dinner plates. "I, uh-"

But Max just looked interested, smirking now. "Someone took my texts a little too seriously, neh?"

The policeman's face was rapidly turning crimson. "N-never....nevermind that!" he shot up from the bench they had been chattering away on, looking at everything except the rather attractive man smirking at him. "At any rate, i should probably be getting something to eat now. It's..." he glanced at his watch. "2pm"

"Ah" Max nodded sagely. "Food. I know her"he bared his sharp teeth with a grin. "Whether said food is cooked or even dead yet is irrelevant, though"

Sam couldn't help but arch a brow, bypassing those very clearly disturbing comments to dive into a different concern. "If you love food, how the hell are you so thin?"

"Heroin and a high metabolism. S'also why i look so tired" Max stretched, and the sound of his bones popping made the darker man grimace. The albino jumped up, smiling. "You gonna take me to lunch, then?"

Sam blinked. "Shouldn't i be the one offering...?"

Max was already pushing past him.

Rolling his eyes, Sam resigned himself to following.

\---

"Boom. Café. Done" Max pulled Sam in after him. "See? You can trust my judgement"

The policeman was just confused. "Normally i just go to Stinky's..."

Max gave him a disgusted look. "Why? Look, I've eaten live animals, _don't ask why_ , and even i can't stomach that old bastard's cooking!"

"His 'cantankerous weathered sailor' deameanor is charming in it's own way, enough that i sometimes just go to chat with him" Sam shrugged. "And the food is cheap, which is frankly all i care about usually, hygeine and edibility be damned"

The albino just looked impressed. "How the hell are you not dead?" before the older man could respond he was already pulling him in by the sleeve, noticeably using his non-dominant. Sam couldn't help but peer at his bandaged hand. What could have happened to it?

Before he could ask, they were already at the counter. Max turned to him. "What're you having?"

Sam didn't even glance at the menu. "Salad. Big salad."

"Dressings?" the woman behind the till asked.

"Eh. Mayo."

Max was staring at him like he'd just grown another head. "Salad? This place is high end and you get a fuckin' _salad?_ "

Sam went red in indignation. "Hey, there's nothing wrong with having a salad every once in a while!"

Max just rolled his eyes as he looked at the woman. "Something with steak in it. Anything. I don't care."

She gave him a weird look but rolled with it. "Alright, go pick a table please"

Max shoved past him to scope one out, eventually pulling Sam over to one near the wall as they waited. The shorter man rested his head on his hands, gazing into the cop's eyes as if looking for something. When Sam gave him a confused look, he merely smiled and didn't explain himself.

The taller man couldn't help but notice how his pseudo-almost-date had began picking at his wrist, raking his nails down the length of his inner arm. He was shaking slightly. He lowered his voice as he asked in concern "Do you need me to give you an out so that you can... Refill?"

Max's expression filled with surprise before he smiled, softer than his usual cheshire-cat like grins. "Thanks, but i can hang on for a bit longer. Long enough to enjoy some juicy meat, anyway!"

Sam averted his eyes at the unintentional double-entendre.

When the food arrived, he felt a sense of peace he rarely let himself bask in, just eating opposite such a cheerful and confusing man.


End file.
